Befriending yourself I Success Secrets I


An enemy is someone who is not a friend. The Cambridge English Dictionary defines enemy as a person who hates or opposes another person and tries to harm them or stop them from doing something. A friend helps and an enemy opposes. From our childhood we have been taught that enemy is an external factor. Enemy is a physical object. But we have never thought of enemy as an internal factor. Here I am going to highlight some important areas which we need to cogitate deeply if we really want to prosper in our lives.
First of all I want to give you an example of a person and what happened to him due to him in his life. A little boy grown up gracefully in a teacher’s family. He was very good in studies. He used to work very hard to fulfil his aims and ambitions. His career in secondary education was very good. But suddenly he fall prey to some bad habits. He started taking tobacco and alcohol. His circle of friends also changes gradually. And suddenly that studious boy got distracted from his track. He couldn’t qualify even his graduation. He came back to his village and engaged himself in agricultural activities. Since he belonged to a Brahmin family he was not allowed to go to paddy field and work there. But due to his repeated insistence he was allowed by his parents. He was doing well initially and was earning the required wage. But his habits were not changed. His family members and relatives tried a lot to make him free from his bad habits but couldn’t. One day he got married. Some years later he became a proud father of two sons. And suddenly one day he fell sick. He was taken to hospital and the doctors diagnosed it as ‘cancer’. His world turned upside down. He was never ready to believe that he was wrong and when conditions were totally against him, he become terribly upset. He becomes worried about his future and his family. Now I want to put forward a question. Although initially his career was very good, he could have excelled and had a very bright future but he could not because of his bad habits. His bad habits damaged his body and finally he become bedridden. If he would have strongly determined to achieve his greater goals he would have achieved them. But he developed habits that took him far away from achieving his goals.
Now the question is:
Question: Who is his enemy?
Options:   a)    His family members?
                b)    His relatives? or
                c)     He himself?
If your answer is (c) than you are right. Even in extreme cases also it is not the external factors that decides our fortune but the purely internal factors. That’s why I want to say, you are your biggest friend and you yourself are your biggest enemy. If you can control yourself, give yourself direction and move ahead, you are going to reach your destiny. But if you are controlled by negative thoughts, bad habits and bad company, your life will be having no direction, sense and purpose. Consequently you will destroy yourself. And it will be you yourself who will be responsible for your ill fortune and not others.
Now the question is how can we become our own enemies? The answer is that we are born to win. We are not here in this world to experience unhappiness, failure, pain and frustrations. Being human we have the capacity to think and act accordingly. We should experience happiness, radiant joy, peace of mind and success in our lives. If we are not becoming successful and happy in our lives which we are naturally destined to as God’s perfect creature, we become our own enemies.
It is you and only you who can stop yourself from taking any endeavour. No external factor can defeat you, until you give up yourself. It is only you, who has decided the course of any action for yourself. Therefore, you can’t blame others for your failures. Take responsibility upon yourself. Choose your actions consciously. Take your decisions wisely and never let yourself loose. Remain on the track. Success is bound to come if you bounce back. Under any condition we have the power to upgrade ourselves. There is no problem in this world that is powerful than your mind. Don’t degrade yourself by your self will. The ramifications of self degradation are miserable.
Who can act as our Own Enemies?
1.    Procrastination:
In India there is a mythological story in the Ramayana about Ravana - the demon king. When Ravana was defeated by Lord Rama and Ravana was lying on the death bed, Lord Rama sent his younger brother Laxmana to learn lessons from Ravana who was a very wise person. And the most important advice given by Ravana was that do whatever you consider as good, as early as possible without any delay. This is the simple secret of success. Ravana confessed that he has procrastinated the good things to be done in the later period of his life and given preference to evil activities which eventually destroyed him. If we develop the habit of procrastination, we will never reach our destiny. Therefore, there is no bigger enemy within us like the habit of procrastination.
2.    Vices:
There are several vices which degrade us. Impatience, Ego, Anger, inactivity etc.  We fall prey to these vices because they come to us effortlessly. It is easier to remain with the vices. But to develop the virtues we need effort. That’s why people choose the easier path and become their own enemy unconsciously.
3.    Lack of a definite aim:
Destiny is a matter of creation and not a matter of luck. Destiny can never be reached by chance. It is a matter to be decided and reach with conscious endeavour. When we don’t know where to go, it doesn’t matter where we have reached. Design your life consciously. Overcome hurdles to reach the goals that you set. There is no other way and no magical formula to become successful other than taking the required steps towards its achievement.
4.    Ignorance:
Most of the people remain in ignorance. They remain ignorant even when the truth is brought into their notice. By remaining ignorant about the vital aspects of life we become our own enemy. We need knowledge about food and health to keep us healthy; we need the knowledge to know ourselves, our capacities and to determine what we need in our lives to fulfil our needs; we also need spiritual knowledge to keep us always happy and joyful even amidst harsh situations in our lives and to move ahead in our chosen directions to reach our destiny.
We must understand our capacity first and accordingly we need to determine our aim with a clear vision. I want to mean that our aim should be crystal clear to us. How will we reach our aim in life that we have to understand clearly with the help of the required knowledge? Knowledge must be channelized. Some people have all the knowledge other than what is required for them to serve their purpose. We should master all the knowledge that leads to our aim. Any other knowledge which don’t help you to create your destiny is meaningless. Therefore not knowing what to do, how to do, when to do or in short ‘ignorance’ as Swami Vivekananda said, “is the root of all evil.”
5.    Failing to plan:
On the basis of a plan only you could move ahead in life. If you are failing to plan then you are planning to fail. On the basis of the knowledge we must work out our step by step plan to reach our destiny. Most of the people are without any aim in life; some are with a wish to get fulfilled but without any effort towards its accomplishment; some people decide their aim and move forward little bit and withdraws when confronted by obstacles and there are only some very few number of people who despite of their problems and hurdles never give up, continue their efforts and reach their destinies.
6.    Bad Company:
We become our own enemy when we are in bad company. Bad company    here I not only mean Company with bad habits and thoughts but also company that use to waste time in idle gossiping and purposeless roaming which has the potentiality to push one out of his track. Avoid bad company immediately if you can understand the evil nature of the people in your company. With bad company you can never shine in your life.
7.    Bad Habits:
Don’t develop bad habits. Habits are stronger than will power. Once you develop a bad habit, you have to struggle very hard to overcome it. Therefore, be very careful. Bad habits may be in relation to your health, such as smoking, tobacco chewing, alcohol addiction, frequent taking of junk foods; in relation to your mind, such as negative thinking, negative emotions, aggressive behaviour, and even superstitions. All these damage our own body and mind.
8.    Flexibility:
Flexibility here I mean compromising with our goals. By letting loose our determination to live our purpose in life we become our own enemies. Never bring yourself down from the standard you affix for yourself. By standard I want to mean your values and principles. Don’t compromise with your daily routine and your daily activities which are to be done earnestly. If you start compromising with your values, principles and practices, your achievements will be keeping on delaying. In that sense flexibility is an enemy.
9.    Fear:
Fear is one of the greatest enemies in human life. We need to understand fear properly otherwise if we were to be controlled by fear then we will be unable to find any better place to live in this earth. Therefore we should always focus on strength. Fear will arise only when there is lack of faith. Lack of faith arises when we have doubts. When the doubts are removed, faith will be established. When faith got established, no room for fear remained.
10. Lack of Ideals or Principles in Life:
Most importantly what I want to point out as an enemy is the lack of principles in life. When we are without any principles we are without our backbone. Principles provide us direction and stability in our life. We become more confident, courageous and competent when we live with principles. We never get bewildered. Most of the people are hypocrite. They are without any principles and act as opportunist on time. Hypocrites can’t achieve remarkable success in their lives. But becoming hypocrites unconsciously due to want of principles will invite misfortunes into our lives. Therefore believe in principles, in some ideals; shape yourself accordingly and move ahead in the journey called life. You will simply be unstoppable.

Become your greatest friend and not an enemy. Upgrade yourself by your conscious endeavour and don't degrade your self by your 'self will'. Life is meant to live with a meaningful purpose and not to waste it miserably. If you can upgrade your self by your self, you will never be confronted by yourself. No one else can do the work for you except you, yourself. If you take up your own responsibility without waiting for any external help, you will be able to move ahead successfully in your life in any direction. Most importantly you will always be happy, fulfilled and complete.


Inspiration for Students by My Dear Students: YOUR GREATEST ENEMY
Befriending yourself I Success Secrets I
Inspiration for Students by My Dear Students
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